looking for stars

I'm embracing brokenness.

After a recent conversation with a dear friend, I've come to realize that there are times in our lives when we must embrace the fact that certain situations are shitty.

So often I gloss over something that happens in my life by looking for the positive. Right away. I look for that silver lining (at least on the outside), while inwardly sulking and mourning in my disappointment, all the while feeling guilty and feeling the need to repent for my "bad attitude."

However, with some things, and in some times, it's ok to weep and to mourn, and we don't immediately need to wipe away the tears and paste on a smile for everyone. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.

There's a time to look on the bright side of things and search for what we can learn from a certain situation. But first, we must allow God to be God.

God finds us in our brokenness. But we must first allow ourselves to be broken.

Right now, I've decided that in this situation, in which I currently find myself, I will sit at the bottom. Just chill out in the shit, so to speak. I am acknowledging the following statements:
-I am disappointed.
-This sucks.
-I am hurt.
-I am scared.
Those statements are freeing. They are the first step in my healing process. They are absolutely necessary.

A Persian proverb says, "When it's dark enough, you can see the stars."
It's really dark right now. I'm waiting (patiently) for the stars to show up.